The Little Things

Every day, something annoying or frustrating can happen. We can forget something we really needed to remember, or we can continuously remember something we would love to forget. Either, way, challenges and obstacles are always in the way. It has been my experience throughout my twenties that the small, insignificant things are what make or break my day.

Today, for instance, I decided that in order to make my day slightly more bright (considering I am fighting a cold), I would bring in my laptop and use it instead. I am a beloved mac owner, and using my laptop is definitely easier for a lot of things. Plus the frustration doesn’t have to build – Office Space Style – while I wait for things to load.

Because of this little conciliation, I was forced to reroute my email, and can’t quite get the fundraising database to work on here (anyone out there good at this??), BUT it makes me smile more.

There is more fun noise when I type and I feel more like I am working and I am not just waiting for someone to give me something to do.

Either way, it got me thinking about those little things – and how much they can make or break us. Lately, as I read more and more blogs from really awesome people, capturing pieces of their lives, I wonder what makes them so special.  We like to read about other people cooking, cleaning, working, writing, dreaming.

All the while we are captivated – by the very same little things that matter to us, and reaching a common goal: to appreciate those things for what they are.

Today, my little thing was the mac. Tomorrow, maybe it will be my chai, or some other random Starbucks funny story – of which I have many. Maybe it will even be an amazing blog comment – hint, hint!

I hope all of the little things in your day are bringing you a smile too.

Are You There God? It’s Me, Blog.

Blogging has been great for me. It has opened my eyes to new things to read online, new communities to join, and ultimately, new ideas that are growing inside my mind about lots of different things – and the dedication that it takes to share these things with the world.

The only problem I have found with blogging so far, is that I have the distinct feeling that I am sometimes (not always, thanks commentators!) talking to nobody. I am out in the abyss of blogging, where many float but few take root.

That may sound a little bit dramatic, but it is what makes blogging challenging. Everyone can have a blog (everyone with internet access and a little bit of time), but everyone doesn’t keep it up. In my career, the total number of blogs started has been five, including this one.

I had one just about Yoga, one about people who help the world, one about sustaining Africa, and one about how I didn’t really know how to use a blog. None of them lasted for longer than a month, tops.

I think this had a lot to do with the fact that I was only discussing them with my husband. As thrilling as that is, I was really interested in these so-called “other readers” that exist out there in cyberspace. There were supposed to be millions, right? I hadn’t attracted so much as three.

Now, with my relatively recent involvement in Brazen Careerist, I have discovered that many people blog without expecting much of an audience – and the reverse also happens. We blog not wanting an audience, and then sometimes get one. The internet is so funny this way.

Ultimately, what I have learned from Brazen is the fact that marketing is a huge part of blogging as a serious entity. If you blog about the adventures of cat, dog, and kids, maybe marketing doesn’t need to be in your plans. But if you are like me, and you want to hear other people’s view on a variety of topics – and hopefully succeed in helping people in the world, an audience is crucial.

I am thankful that for the most part, I feel content with whatever audience life brings me that day. Yes, there are those times when I look at the WordPress.com stats, and feel sad that no one really knew what I had to say on that afternoon, but I keep trying.

Learning about the process requires a lot of shouts into the dark, but the most can be learned, I think, when you study your own voice.

Nursery University

My oh my, and I thought New York City couldn’t get any more hilariously crazy. New York is my favorite place in the world. But it has some of the most incredible income stratification in the world.

In case you want to see exactly what I mean, check out the documentary Nursery University, where we are taken into the world of the elite of the elite in the quest for the perfect…nursery school. The movie chronicles the aspects of the search for schools that are the “feeder schools” for the elite intermediate and high schools. This can ultimately lead a child to….

THE IVY LEAGUE.

Well New York, you have pretty much made me nauseated. I usually have a fairly laid back approach to the wealth that exists among the poverty, because that is what makes the city interesting in some ways. But the idea behind the effects of competition, and those that are ultimately squeezed out of a 2-3 year old’s playtime at school, was a lot for me to take.

My experience was interesting. I don’t remember my entry to pre-school, but I do remember my interview for kindergarten. Yes, interview. My mother was working full-time and needed a full-time kindergarten, and my grandfather wanted me to go to Jewish private school. So I wound up at an interview at the top Jewish school in the country, reading the teacher “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.”

I don’t think I realized my school was different until I started hanging out with the kids at home – and realized that they were meeting so many more different people than me. Today, I can’t really imagine being surrounded by people who are all the same. I am in an interfaith, international, intercultural relationship that gives me the opportunity to even more fully explore the differences in the world around me.

New York is one of those really funny places where the same things about it that make it awesome are the same thing that make it the symbol for corporate greed, a society out of touch with reality, and the ways in which the rest of the world lives.

I can’t really be surprised that there are families that pay $50,000/year for pre-school. I lived and worked among them, and I even babysat some of those kids to pay my rent.

Ultimately, these kids will either wind up completely jaded – or they won’t. The majority of the kids I went to school with for 13 years at my school have turned out accepting, active in making the world a better place, and trying to move beyond the walls that held them for so long with the same people.

Will I make these types of crazy decisions as a parent? Not the $50,000 ones. But if given that shot, would I take it?

New York never ceases to surprise me – and make me thoroughly confused.

The Age of Stupid?

I don’t always consider myself the most prudent environmentalist. I sometimes throw things out and don’t recycle them – and I definitely still use anti-bacterial hand gel even though I know it is full of chemicals. Swine flu is serious, people!

The thing I do know is that every day I am conscious of our planet and the issues it faces. This has to do, yes, with the fact that I work at an environmental nonprofit. But it also has to do with the fact that I seek this information out. I want to know how bad things are, and how I can fix them.

In the spring, I took a course at NYU with my husband called The Global Natural Resource Crisis. An older man taught it – who had made a ton of money the bad way – the oil way. He reached retirement, and realize that he had been ignoring the perils of his work for a long time. He retrofitted his house in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey to be “green” and has taught this class for the last 5 years.

In it, he taught us a lot about peak oil, and statistics and where to find them, but mostly he allowed us to fight with each other. There were always those 2 people that took the class in order to just argue with us climate change believers and see where they got. Usually they got nowhere. This was a liberal class in Greenwich Village, New York.

Since then, many books have gotten more and more popular on this issue, and a variety of shows, movies, and even entire channels have been devoted to sustainability. As we approach the December climate talks in Copenhagen, I have been thinking if these people are talking – or if they are just reality show actors.

Last night we watched a movie called The Age of Stupid. The Times review has a lot of interesting things to say about the film, which shows an archivist going through video footage in 2055 of our current life, and the things happening to the planet – and essentially, how we ignored them. He has thus dubbed this time an “Age of Stupid” because we saw so many things happening, and it took 40 more years of turmoil before the planet finally acknowledged the inherent risk.

I actually really liked the film, but the review brings up some interesting points. Mainly, it brings up the idea that if we are bombarded with depressing information (no clean water in Africa where Shell pumps oil, glaciers melting in the Alps, a commercial airline in India primed to spread even more fossil fuel across an exploding population) we may not do anything. We may be paralyzed by this depression, and feel it is too late.

I definitely feel that way sometimes. The world’s problems are too big and I am too small. But instead I actually found the movie one of the most effective films I have seen thus far about the issue. This is mainly because it was documentary – with a little bit of flair that movies can give a problem.

We can all decide to freak out, or we can do something – we can act.

Lending A Hand.

Today I read an article forwarded to me by my husband in The Washington Post. I am normally not a Post reader, but this article in particular was begging for me to discuss it. Essentially, the article states that the Catholic Church is threatening to take away its social service contracts if DC passes a law to prevent organizations from discriminating against gay men and women. This doesn’t mean, the article points out, that the religious organizations have to allow weddings to be held in their buildings, BUT it does mean that they cannot enforce discriminatory practices over charity work.

Now, I was in this discussion recently with many other readers of Matt Cheuvront’s blog Life Without Pants, when he posted about the recent passing of anti-gay marriage legislation in Maine. I am a full supporter of gay marriage, and I know that can be a controversial viewpoint. But really, I was utterly shocked at this piece of local news.

I haven’t officially changed my New York license, but I am a DC resident, and to see this become such a divisive issue over homeless shelters and AIDS clinics has really made me ashamed. The article discusses Catholic Charities, whose $10 million dollars of funding for programs directly impacts over 70,000 people.

As a nonprofit fundraiser, I know the value of $10 million dollars in aid money. It is priceless. In this economy, charities are suffering because of a lack of funding.

Many may think I am completely wrong to pass judgment on these organizations – and you may be right. Charities, regardless of their religious affiliations, have their agendas. I know this first hand, and maybe even perpetuate it each day. It is part and parcel to competing with the companies that have the dollars and a great deal of the power. Are we as constituents and concerned citizens able to demand that our nonprofits and our charities be as ethical as our corporations?

To a certain extent, yes. We have the 501c3 tax status in the U.S. that gives nonprofits certain privileges as a result of doing good for the community. What if that good has somehow been lost because of a particular belief?

I am thoroughly interested in the discussion, and would love to hear more thoughts.

On a personal level, though, I urge the DC City Council to pass the anti-discrimination legislation.

Laziness. The Devil’s Quality?

Today I woke up thinking about a few things. One, the fact that I believe I have a stress fracture in my foot from the half marathon (BUMMER 2009). Two, I thought about laziness. Mostly the fact that I find it almost nauseating when someone is lazy.

I’m not sure why this is – except for the fact that I come from a typical New York family. Go, Go, Go every second to accomplish the next thing. It is probably also not the healthy way to be. Luckily, I am trying to convert myself into a combination of the two.

One thing about laziness in personal life, is that it affects the precious few that are surrounding themselves with you by choice (or at least by family ties.) The thing about laziness in your work world is that it affects others. It mostly affects us that are closer to the bottom. We are used to picking up the slack for those up above that are busy with other things, but what happens when there really are no “other things” that these bosses are doing?
What happens when they are just choosing to not do their share?

This is always a problem, especially in companies where those at the top are confident in their staying power, and the ability of their staff to do the job for them. Is this good for our skills but bad for morale?

I have always been the type of person that strives to do my best for reasons that are not usually justified. No one is going to reward me all the time, but I just feel like my best is what has to be done. I think this is really a quality found a lot in Generation Y – we love to do our best.

There are probably complex societal reasons for all of this, but what matters most is that it exists. The need to do better is what will make the difference in a difficult economy, and ultimately, in the many various fields in which Gen Y finds itself.

Us perfectionists will get the job done.

Patience is a Virtue. Even in the Workplace.

In every job that we take on – both professionally and personally – there is a bit of a learning curve. There is a time where we struggle, where we feel awkward, and where we could really just give up entirely. Gradually, if we stick with it, we learn and it becomes more comfortable than it was before.

Usually, this requires the patience of others to wait while you learn. The boss has to give you some time to get adjusted. The friend has to understand if you need time for your new relationship.

Nowadays, we have all been faced with the unfortunate reality that the only real thing we can control is the stuff between our ears. Our brains. Our careers are not fixed, our degrees are not as well-counted, and our experience is constantly shifting. Our resumes are not determined by what we are doing in life, but by what we are questing for – if that is even a term.

The reason I thought of this is because of the amount of people I see who have such a burning desire to help in the nonprofit world, but who are relegated to administrative, nonsensical tasks for eternity. They lose that drive, and perhaps even turn to another sector because of this idea.

There is no one there telling them that they are worth the wait. It will take time for them to adjust in their duties with a higher degree of responsibility, but why shouldn’t someone give them a shot?

Doesn’t passion matter?

In today’s world, it is hard to hold on to what you believe, and even harder to find those with patience to hold onto it with you. That is why in my life, the people I value the most are those that allow me the time to make mistakes, to try things out, and to recognize my flaws – both at work and at home.

If there were one message I could deliver to the nonprofit sector “Gods”, whoever they may be, it would be this:

Don’t walk around with blinders. There are tons of inspired, visionary young people who are waiting for their chance to change the world. We would all be better off if you let them.

Why Running a Half Marathon is a Great Career Analogy

Okay. It’s finished. The 13.1 mile race that was dominating the anxiety-driven portion of my brain is over. And it was awesome. Well. Before I completely glorify the experience, I have to say that it was extremely tough. Anyone that runs, or has attempted to run knows that distance is the one thing you can’t really prepare yourself mentally for. Your thighs may be ready, but your head is not. (Sometimes it even works the other way around.) Either way, running is an intense sport. It pins you against yourself in a way that I believe is unmatched.

The race took us in three loops, which was mentally very difficult. As the top, elite runners were finishing, I was beginning my second lap. It was definitely not easy. I finished in a time of 2 hours and 18 minutes.

There are a few observations about this race that I simply have to share:

1) I found it extremely beautiful to run past the Capital the day after the healthcare debate. I am a strong proponent of public option healthcare, and even though I don’t believe that the current plan is perfect, I was happy that the dialogue was thriving. It was especially powerful to run past it for a cause like Gynecologic Cancer, whose treatment has been repeatedly denied by insurance companies.

2) Your positive attitude is really the key to nearly everything. Cliche, I know. But it is the truth. At mile 9, my husband left me to speed up, and I kept on trucking at my 10 minute mile pace, for the last 5 miles by myself. And I smiled through almost all of it. I even laughed at mile 12, when a group of spectators began singing “Eye of the Tiger” from Rocky.

3) People in life are really willing to do things for other people. Human capital is absolutely amazing. People cheering on the sidelines, people handing out Powerade and water, people waiting at the finish. They all were there to lend a smile at 7 AM on a Sunday morning.

4) There is something about completing something – start to the very last second of the finish – that is 100% inspiring and beautiful. It was beautiful to do it, and it was beautiful to watch so many different others do it too.

Okay, okay. Now I know that races are easy to write poetry about – but most of the weekend I was miserable. I was anxious and upset, I was imagining injury that I didn’t have (everything from appendicitis to a broken leg), and I barely slept the night before. I couldn’t bring my attitude to the level of belief in myself.

This reminds me of the ways in which I have been approaching my career, and why this blog, Brazen Careerist, and many other things have re-inspired me in ways I never thought possible. That race was the single greatest physical achievement I have done to date. And there is no way for someone else to take credit. No boss leaning over me telling me that it was their work. No negative comments from spectators. Pure adrenaline and living in the moment.

Could I really live my life and job the way I lived my half marathon? Not every second of every day, but maybe in some respects.

Maybe I wouldn’t have the deeply rooted joy that I felt throughout the race, but I would recognize that I can do it if I want to – if I try – and ultimately, that I can make it happen on my own.

After my husband left at mile 9, I was a bit scared. I had no I-pod (I don’t run with it normally, and wound up losing it in the porta-potty at the race) and now no one to run next to. It wound up being good. He didn’t hurt his knee by forcing himself to go at my pace, and I found my rhythm, and he was even there with time to spare to videotape my finish.

In life, a career is kind of like a half marathon in the sense that at the end of the day, you can take credit for all that is yours – and there’s no need to look around you to know what it is you have and haven’t done. There are benchmarks and ideals, but you set them for yourself.

I ran a 15 minute mile in highschool and throughout college. I was teased constantly in gym class because I was one of those skinny girls that was weak – physically and mentally (Or so they thought!)

So I encourage everyone reading this to go out and run – or even walk – a mile. See what you learn, in however long an amount of time it takes for you to learn it.

 

WWGD?

Now, I know I am not even done with the book yet – but I could not resist writing about it. Jeff Jarvis’ new book What Would Google Do? is really awesome, and I must say that I am relatively new to the tech/career/social media book genre. And I am really loving it!

I got this book because one of the women at work read it. She found it so great that she had the office manager order 3 copies of it for the office. All of the books we have here are the environmental ones – so to have one that was about something different was extremely awesome. I had just decided to review more and more books on here, so I stalked the OM until she gave me the first copy out of the box from Amazon.

I must say, I am tempted to hold onto it and not give it back. Jarvis is a long-time blogger, and a tech/media/web guy that really knows his material. His writing is straight forward and concrete, and really made me amazed at how many people were using the internet for cool things – well before everyone else. He explains how he wrote a blog post about the bad customer service he received at Dell (which, yep, I have a Dell Latitude story I could tell myself) – and the blog post found its way all the way to the top of the company’s chain.

Many people responded to Jarvis and his frustration about customer service, and in turn, Dell responded. This is how the book opens – and it definitely had me hooked. So far, (I am only at page 47) Jarvis has focused on the ways in which we have to work with and not against the almighty Google. I didn’t realize until I had begun reading how much volume of web content Google controls. It was truly insane.

The idea of working within this framework may make some uneasy (“I am giving in to the corporate line!”) but I was actually encouraged by his point. Google has done things no other company has, and as a result, we are an innovative and knowledge seeking society.

You’re right – not all of us. We all don’t love the idea of a widespread knowledge base, and we all don’t have equal access to it. I also believe that everything I have ever done and said should not be Google searchable. I will reserve those moments for my husband to make fun of how annoying I am being, or for family members to have to deal with me.

As a nonprofit worker, I am constantly trying to think of the ways in which technology shapes our relationships to other humans. For the family in Southern Mozambique trying to get their dial-up to work, the world of Google is not as transparent. What type of world would it be like if it was?

I am waiting to see if Jarvis addresses these types of issues, and even if he doesn’t, he has certainly opened the door for me to think about them.

Ultimately, we watch to see what Google will do, and follow suit. How can we use Google – and befriend it – to better those in the world without such access?

Looking forward to the next couple of hundred pages.

 

 

A Healthier World

The health care debate is usually an issue I stay away from in my blogging. It is ultimately extremely complex, and such a complicated and politically charged area of policy that it is hard to cover in my mere contribution to the blog world.

In the New York Times preview of its Magazine, which usually appears on Thursdays, the Times covered a hospital called Intermountain in Utah. The hospital itself is one that has implemented a system of set protocol to administer care, as opposed to relying solely on a doctor’s “intuition.”

Wait! Before you scream at me! I love doctor’s intuition. My mother is in Oncology, and I have always relied on her intuition about things – and not just because of the fact that she is my mom. A doctor’s ability to diagnose and remedy a situation is paramount, and many patients blindly follow physician advice.

At Intermountain, the goal is to utilize well-researched and documented illnesses to learn about what the most cost-effective and low-risk treatments are for patients. The intuition plays a role – but the role of statistics is also there.

Normally, I wouldn’t really agree with statistics over a person’s particular view. But I have had a biased experience.

In May of this year, I developed really awful bronchitis. I couldn’t talk, and I couldn’t touch my chest because the pain was so bad. I had health insurance through work, but had never set up a primary care doctor in Manhattan – the land of 4 month waiting periods for appointments. So I opted for the Beth Israel D.O.C.S. clinic on 34th Street, where doctors can see you (briefly) and write you a script as a walk-in patient.

The doctor didn’t do a xray, and sent me away with a prescription for an antibiotic. I had an upper respiratory infection. (DUH). So I take my first dose, and I get so sick that I wind up almost on the floor of the Time Warner Center Borders Books trying to call him to give me something else. He finally agrees, and I take it for 10 days, and go back to my running, my moving out of New York, my life.

Fast forward to mid-June. I am freshly new to DC, and am full-on into the job hunt. All of a sudden I feel really tired. So I decided to make the same mistake twice, and go to an urgent care center near my parent’s house. They decide they want an x-ray (Imagine!) and – ack! – the doctor calmly tells me she sees “a little somethin'” and I should probably go to the ER to check it out. You know. To be safe.

TEARS! What?! I was just going in there for another quick and easy prescription fix!

We get to the ER (the husband, the mom, and me.) and we wait. And we wait. And all of a sudden there is a needle. And a cat-scan with some weird dye. And then this woman comes in and sits down. She calmly explains that “you have a blood clot in your lung. And if you leave here, you will die.”

TEARS! Okay, there was also some cursing, and another radar x-ray of my legs, and then some overnight admission to the hospital, and 2 injections of blood thinners into my stomach.

Fast forward to 3PM the following day, when they finally get the actual lung doctor to see me. He comes in, takes two seconds look at my scan, and says “What are they talking about? This isn’t a blood clot. It’s bad pneumonia. Looks like that wasn’t bronchitis after all.” He wrote me a script for heavy medicine, and I was better within a week.

Phew. My wrists actually hurt from typing all of that. Are you still with me?

Basically, my tale of woe relates back to intuition for the following reason: The woman in the ER saw my x-ray, and knew I had a risk factor (birth control) and assumed blood clot. She could have gotten sued if I had gone home and died. Her intuition was more focused on not getting sued, than on simply bringing in a lung specialist in the first place, and getting a correct answer.

I was left with: A large bill (thankfully covered by insurance), PTSD from the entire thing, and a complete distrust of the healthcare system. Not to mention the fact that all day I took up space in a room that could have gone to someone who really needed it.

Intermountain is controversial in its approach, and it is not the only answer to our woes. But we must rethink healthcare in this country. We spend so much, and gain a fear of cost – rather than a desire to do what is best for ourselves in the long-term.

I welcome comments on this issue – it is one I am just starting to learn more about, and I would love to hear from some experts.